Kickin' insecurities in the FACE!

A couple of months ago, I was debating going to CrossFit Fire's "Team Saturday" WOD. However, I was severely held back by insecurities: I didn't want to be the person who held down a team and then no one would ever want me on their team. Basically, I was afraid of failure. Confessing these insecurities to a friend, he said something that has stuck with me every time I find myself getting insecure... He told me, "I say you kick insecurities in the face!" Naturally, at that time, it made me giggle/smile real big, but I made excuses and said, "Oh, maybe in another month or so..." I said I'd do it when I was consistently WODing 4 times a week or when I lost 10 more pounds or when I can do pull ups unassisted... Blah, blah, blah. You name it, I used the excuse! 

About a month ago, my brother, who I also CrossFit with, asked me to join him for Team Saturday. I tried to come up with excuses, but then he confessed something to me that made me decide to go and endure it with him. He had never gone to a Team Saturday before and was nervous himself. I knew it was either now or never. If there was anyone who could get me to go with him, it would be my brother. So, I made a deal with him: I told him that I would go IF he made me bacon, eggs, and coffee afterwards. So, we had a deal, and I got my booty up out of bed that next morning.

I'd love to sit here and tell you that I LOVED the workout, but the reality is that I HATED every second of it! I had never wanted to quit that badly in a WOD before, but I didn't. I got through. And wouldn't you know it, I signed up for the torture again the next week. NOT only did I sign up for the torture, but I also signed up for Oly class, where I PRd on my Split Jerk and made it onto the "Record Board" at our gym. I was hooked and have gone every Saturday since (minus one because of my hurt ankle) and plan to continue going as long as nothing interferes with it.

I have to say, I'm SO glad that I finally got up the nerve to "kick insecurity in the face!" Yesterday was an EPIC birthday WOD for one of our coaches and I seriously LOVED every second of this WOD. It was... 

In teams of 3:

2 rounds of:
4:00 AMRAP
5 tire flips
10 push-ups
4:00 AMRAP
10 sandbag shoulder to shoulder push presses
40 yard sandbag sprint
4:00 AMRAP
10 ball slams
10 pull-ups

*only completed rounds count

The rain added to this splendor of this super fun WOD! Oh! And, did I mention that my team won?!?! Insecurity of Team Saturday is officially CRUSHED!Here's my team from Saturday... Not the most photogenic picture, but I was wet and sweaty and just got done with a kick-butt workout!

I have been very intentional this last week of putting in some extra work at CrossFit doing some running, rowing, pull ups, ab work, etc. I've probably been staying half an hour to 45 minutes AFTER my class and it's felt GREAT! I've been super challenged and my body is so beat up, but I love it! Can't wait to do the same thing this week! BOOM!

I am still scared/afraid of failing. Ok, so, I know that this is not an uncommon fear, but I truly am, which is why I am SO hard on myself. However, I've decided that it's time to keep kickin' this on in the face. How? You ask... Well, today I registered for the MetroDash and the LifeAsRx competition. Neither one of those do I think that I will do very well at. Heck, climbing an 8ft wall scares the crap out of me... What if I can't get my booty over it? What if I'm the last one to finish? A CrossFit competition? What if I don't have my pull ups by then? What if I DNF (Do Not Finish)? The thoughts and insecurities and questions are plaguing me right now. But, even if all those fears and insecurities come true, it doesn't matter! I need to prove to myself, not anyone else, that I can conquer my fears. Even if I come in last, it will be a GREAT experience and a really great benchmark for me as a CrossFit athlete. I'm nervous, scared, anxious, insecure, fearful, etc. But, I know I need to do this. I need to kick insecurity in the face :-)